########################################
Jack Can't Cook (From Portable EFO Show)
########################################

Standard tuning, no capo

Notable chords:

    G   Gmaj  D    C   C/D   C7   F    A7
1|--3----3----2----0----3----1----3----0--|
2|--0----3----3----1----3----0----3----3--|
3|--0----0----2----0----0----3----2----0--|
4|--0----0----0----2----2----2----3----3--|
5|--2----2----0----3----3----3----x----0--|
6|--3----3----x----3----x----x----x----x--|



G          G      C/D    G
Jack can't cook

G          G       D     Gmaj
Jack can't cook

(x2)

    C                                     Gmaj
You can't judge a story by the cover of a book

   D                                  G      G     C/D    G
So don't judge Jack 'cause Jack can't cook

Gmaj       C/D      F    C/D
Jack can't cook

      Gmaj            C/D      F    C/D
So he built himself a diner

      Gmaj          C/D      F
Where no one in the neighborhood

C/D                 F     C/D
Thought it ought to be

Gmaj         C/D      F    C/D
Packs chant "crook"

        Gmaj               C/D      F    C/D
So they built themselves a dummy

   Gmaj
Of hungry old Jack burning up in effigy


Jack hates kids
So he married him a granny
Who Jack knew wouldn't have
The land for his seed
But Jack thought wrong
And the granny had a baby
And the baby looked a lot like Jack indeed

Jack left home
For a younger Venezuelan
Who made a lot of showings
Except in Jack's bed
Now had old Jack
Been Henry the Eighth
Then maybe Anne Boleyn just might have kept her head

CHORUS
It ain't no thing if your plate is full
So why not send Jack to culinary school

Jack can't count
But his son was an accountant
Who counted on being named
The heir to Jack's throne
But he lost out
To his younger brother
Who couldn't count either - had the elder only known

Jack can't stand
The drive to his kitchen
So he ordered it moved
Into his back yard
Now Jack can't stand
The noise and the bitchin'
Cuz it's near - ain't life hard


D
Jack only has a name for his diner

    C/D                    Gmaj
And wouldn't you know it's after himself

D
Jack only has a model for his diner

C/D                    Gmaj
Next to the urn on his living room shelf

A7                   C
Now honest Abe has a key to the city

    C7
And hungry old Jack has a lot of self-pity

CHORUS